Strategic Rape Part II

Strategically speaking, the only reason we’re in this business is to impress others. We write briefs, conduct market surveys, spout case studies and create commercials with the sole aim of making an impact on our defenceless victims. And we’re damn good at that. Our list of victims include our existing clients, potential clients, research agencies, focus groups and of course, the general public. But it becomes extremely funny when we target our arsenal at each other. Words like strategy, then, play a significant role in career enhancement in advertising. You are nothing but the sum total of all the heavy-duty phrases you can throw around at ease. And to help you in that endeavour, here’s a list of phrases everyone must learn to survive in the corporate world.

Any idiotic thing you say can look very significant if you add the phrase, “Strategically speaking”.

You don’t “agree” with someone. You realise both are on the “same page”.

Only those devoid of any ambition would need “something that stands out”. The more worldly wise would always prefer “something that’s clutter breaking”.

Always “agree to disagree”.

Never miss out on the “key deliverables”.

If you haven’t been able to discover “effective differentiation” in your “key result areas”, you’ll never earn your “progressive performance incentives”.

If you’re not kept “in the loop”, you’re in the wrong circle.

“Filtering” is in. Every other variation beginning with “selection” is out.

“Synergy quotient”. In other words, how well two or more things fit together.


To be continued.